at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
