The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
