I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
