...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
