I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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