he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize