They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
