discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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