It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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