Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
