I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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