After last night, I could never be a politician.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't judge me 👊🼠his dick just whispers my name
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
