how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
