I'm gonna have a badass scar
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
