Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
PANTIES FOUND
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