my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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