I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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