dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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