Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
