So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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