im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize