conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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