We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
