And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
