we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize