that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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