dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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