i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize