you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
