wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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