I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
