That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
