Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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