its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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