I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Vodka?
Forever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
