we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize