Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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