her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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