WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The air was thick with penises
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
