Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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