the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
