OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
