Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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