If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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