nut hugger
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
