I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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