i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
