Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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