Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
