I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
