quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
