rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
A+ Viking dick
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
