grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
