I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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