hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
