that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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