he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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