i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Use "feeling words"
Yay
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
