that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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