Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
