i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
