I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
