Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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