So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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