Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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