I CAN MOONWALK!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
